This Satirical News Blip Was 1st Featured On HumorOutcasts as Gwendolyn L. Spelvin.
Actress Betty White and Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the late 1970s. Photo: Betty White.
CLEVELAND, OH — Actress Betty White shocked audiences at a gay pride rally in Cleveland yesterday when she announced she lost her lesbian virginity to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
The Hot in Cleveland star, 93, said she revealed the long kept secret because she wanted elderly women to know sexual exploration and curiosity with the same sex is a perfectly natural progression with age. White claims she was in her early 50s and still married to her late husband Al Ludden.
“Old broads need to know it is okay to get unconventional loving, even late in life. It’s even better with supportive husbands watching,” White said to adoring fans.
While White doesn’t divulge the specifics of how and when her and Thatcher met, she does say Thatcher was a big fan of her character Sue Ann Nivens on Mary Tyler Moore and subsequent spinoffs, and made it a point to spend time with White whenever she was in the states.
According to her the liaison happened after a wild night on the town at Studio 54. White was taking a break from shooting a movie of the week while Thatcher was visiting relatives.
“I had never been with a woman in that way before then and can definitely say old Iron Crotch always gets what she wants.” said White of the encounter.
White was all smiles when probed by reporters, who said reading Shirley Jones’ tell all autobiography that was released earlier this year gave her the courage to come out of the bicurious closet.
“I’m the bottom, if that really matters. I had to be with a woman as aggressive as Iron Crotch. She got that name fair and square.” White said of the sexual encounter.
Crowds were receptive, giving White a twenty minute standing ovation that led her to tears. Audience members were highly supportive, stating her courage to reveal something that could be shameful due to generational taboo and choice of lover could taint the actress’ legacy.
“It was the 1970s. Things were different back then. Cocaine made you believe anything was possible, and the fact that there is one witness in the world that can prove Margaret Thatcher had sex is proof of that.” White said before jumping in her limo.
Betty White is scheduled to be at a Gay Pride rally tomorrow in Birmingham, Alabama tomorrow.