Little Bo-Peep Arrested; Charged With Sheep Tail Poaching

0

This Satirical News Blip Was 1st Featured On HumorOutcasts as Gwendolyn L. Spelvin.

Little Bo-Peep actually was just poaching her sheep on the cheap. Artwork: Melo Guarnera.

Indianapolis officials have arrested a least likely suspect being held responsible for poaching and smuggling sheep after a national manhunt drew attention to the animal abuse violations on nearby farms.

Little Bo-Peep was arrested Monday morning at her home in Marion County, Indiana after leading authorities on a wild goose chase for more than a year.  According to local law enforcement agencies, Peep allegedly ran a sheep poaching syndicate under market value for almost a decade.

Hundreds of animal rights activists surrounded the jail upon learning of her arrest; PETA, among others, tweeted #ReapThePeep and held signs up as Peep was escorted into the Marion County jail under heavy guard.

Peep is being held without bond; the district attorney’s office announced she would be charged with smuggling and poaching over 100 sheep’s tails, inhumane and neglectful treatment of animals, as well as conspiracy to commit property fraud and labor law violations. 

Last year Peep reported to authorities that her sheep went missing; an initial search of the area the sheep were last seen in suggested they had been stolen.  Peep immediately filed an insurance claim for over one million dollars.  According to police records, four other such claims by Peep had been made over the past year.

Investigators were able to catch a lead from a telephone tip informing them of sheep being transported on a truck registered to Peep’s wool business.  A raid on Peep’s warehouse uncovered illegal undocumented immigrants and incriminating evidence of Peep’s involvement in sheep poaching.

After interviewing the illegal immigrants in custody, investigators followed up on leads that led to them finding the sheep bleeding to death.  Sources say their tails were hanging from trees outside a dilapidated sheep meadow clandestinely operated by Peep.  Sources say the odor of cured tails were in the wind for miles.

Peep stands by her innocence; her lawyers from Shepard and Associates insists her sheep have always been into cutting themselves for autoerotic stimulation. “This isn’t the first time they have been careless sheep a banging.  Our client has been a staunch supporter of sheep rights and has chosen to allow them to have their tails a hanging by their own volition.” said lawyer Tom Shepard.

Little Bo Peep’s trial date has not been set yet.

  

Share.

Comments are closed.